toy story.......

i like toys.

i don't mean dolls and g.i. joe toys. i mean the adult kind. and no, get your filthy mind out of the gutter, i don't mean the kind of toys that adults play with that would cause their mothers to rue raising them. no, no. i mean like whoever has the most toys at the end of his life, wins..... ok, i better clarify a bit. not jaguars and jets, not rolex watches and diamonds (although most people wouldn't classify the latter as exactly toys). i mean like video systems, sound systems, gps devices, etc. those kind of toys. stuff you don't really need, but just love having. my grandparents lived out their entire lives, well into their eighties without a remote control to the television. so we don't really need this stuff to have fulfilling lives, we just love having these things pretending they fulfill our lives.

i had a big couple of weeks................

digress......

i was always the one, when technology was first being born, back in the sixties, that knew how to wire the video game, or connect the stereo wires, or use the remote controls, and i was very proud to be a geek in that regard. some people were just so clueless. and i think, back then, it was just a lazy thing for some, because it was really take the wire, run it from the output (of whatever device) to the input (of whatever device) and bingo........no big deal. and i have to say i was excellent, right through the dawn of the computer age and surround sound, until about 10 years ago, and then, i dunno........it just kind of slipped away from me. i got older, (it's a young man's game) and i kind of lost interest in the wiring of it, but still had the fascination for the toys themselves. (there are several areas in my home that look like the scene from raiders of the lost ark..... just snakes everywhere.......wires.....and more wires........and i now definitely need help with the wiring, a geek or a techie..........and i'm man enough to admit it.

back.......

so a short while ago, i went to an auction site and bought a gps system for the car. that's officially a toy. i'm 60 years old, and have found my way across this planet so far, with virtually no help, but now, i like to program publix onto the gps and listen to the mechanical voice guide me there. it's 12 freakin' blocks and i go almost every day, but still........there's something so cool about in a half mile, make the next left, or make the first possible u-turn, that just gives me a kick. can't help it...........toys are fun. (question....ladies, is this a guy thing?) many of my friends have gps systems either on their cell phones, (major toys) or built right into their cars.....(over the top toys.) so, not to be left too far behind.....(you know, like the avatar experience about which i spoke in an earlier post), i bought the gps system and i'm having fun......sort of........

ok, next up, everybody has these other devices now, either phones or blackberrys, or touch things, or clutch the pearls, this newfangled pad. (i think apple is responsible for most of them,) and i'd like to go on record and say that pad, should not have been the name that the geniuses at apple decided upon. there are too many other uses for that word. besides, something this fabulous just needs a better name. even tablet, would have been better. sounds a little biblical, no? like something given down by god?) anyway, these things hold their music, videos, facebook connections, etc........ i wanted one, but .........

a) they're expensive
b) the monthly service charges can be very pricey......unless of course you buy the 3g version in which case........
c) they're very very expensive.

so, count me out of that game.

but i did buy a sony device for my music and videos (although the screen is 2" in diameter.........i'm thinking avatar is out..........from big screen 3d to 2 inches? not likely) but it's pretty cool for the music. it will literally hold every cd i own. and the number runs into the hundreds. (like i'll live long enough to play it all). and i found it plugs into my car and comes out the speakers, if you push that heretofore unknown button called auxiliary. that button has never been pushed until now and WOW. (how cool is that?)..........i think i'm having a cheese stands alone moment. i can hear you all saying. i know. i've known all along.......... hey.......what can i say?

next up, it the remote control. or should i say remotes control. oy..........

to sit in our house and watch a movie takes 4 remotes. some just do one thing, because my universal remote won't do that one thing, so there they are, 4 remotes next to my chair. poor husband. not the best at that sort of thing, but then who is? most people are not. i'm good at them, but it truly takes all 4 to work the system. tv, dvr, dvd, sound, you get the picture. you all probably LIVE the picture. so what a surprise to me to find that logitech makes a universal that really really works.

one device. (you program it from your computer with a usb cord plugged into the remote.) it asks you the make and model number of everything you own, and the computer does the programming. (ok, truth time. i called a geek friend to help me.) you could program your ceiling fans if you so desired. up to 12 devices (and i bought the low end one. the high end will do 17.) i still haven't put away the 4 remotes yet. not until i learn this thing from top to bottom. i don't quite have the confidence that the nightmare is really over.

but back to that pad thing. (even with it's hideous name). have you seen one in action? it's like the ultimate toy to date. ever. it's music, movies, photos, read a book, internet browsing, email, calendar, date book, all your porn, (come on, you know you have some......even if it's just soft porn, like the fireman calendar.......although i must say, it does still elude me why they call certain things soft porn. sounds like another oxymoron. soft porn. a subject for another time.......) and on and on. but it costs around a bazillion dollars. well, $600 or so, and that's not chump change......

digress.........

the reason this subject came up is that husband and i have changed our habits somewhat. we've both become readers. instead of the television at night when we retire, we read. and he reads a lot. me, not so much.

back...........

so i was thinking about one of those reading devices, for him, like a kindle or a nook, that lets you read ebooks right from a 7 inch screen, no matter how big the book is, or how many you have. bigger or smaller fonts, turn the pages by touching a finger and sliding it sideways, the whole enchilada. it's one of the newer toys these days, but it too was pricey til recently. but now there are other companies making copycat devices. there's one now, for $120 that lets you do the read thing, the email thing, internet, photos, porn, (stop the giggling) calendar, all of it, like the pad. (only slower, because it's not $600). but still, way cool. so............

i bought one today.

i've actually got it up and running by myself, (didn't need a techie or a geek to help me), and i'm having fun with it, although i must say that until you actually buy an ebook and download it to your ereader, they give you free ebooks. (i might have to do another piece on what happened to my regular english language?) the freebies are from the classics. dead authors. so tonight i'll either start jane eyre, pride and prejudice, or little women. (it's a good thing i'm gay, because with those choices i'll probably wake up tomorrow morning wanting to do drag shows.) i'll keep you posted on how it goes. so far, i'm not sure it's a keeper yet, because it really is a little slow, and i'm kind of feeling like i should maybe wait a while until the pad becomes a little more affordable. not too long, of course. otherwise when i get one, and subsequently tell people i have it, and how cool it is, they'll say.......yeah, i know. i've known all along.

could someone pass the cheese, please?............