Friday, August 6, 2010

two on the aisle, please..........

there's a lot of entertainment available on the television, as you all know. it's summer now, so there's less original programming than winter, but still, there are dramas, comedies, dramedies, (you know, dramas with some humor added), and i guess commas (comedies with drama added...or doesn't that exactly work the same way? food for thought), reality shows (dancing, singing, nannies, obese people crying, or single, spoiled rotten phony, pretentious people giving away roses, and so on). i do have a question though. who was it that thought up the concept of watching a gang (for lack of a better word), of people (again, for lack of a better word) just hanging and being hideously the jersey shore. WTF??? i grew up at the jersey shore, and when there were people like that we kept them out of sight in bungalows, fed them lots of alcohol, and told them never to come out amongst people. on the rare occasion that they did venture forth among civilization, we made up excuses like cousins marrying cousins, death in the family trauma, and shit like that. tried to explain it away, instead of glorifying it. but alas, that was then, and this is now.

so with this lack of a plethora of summer programming, (did you like that? lack of a plethora thing? saw it once in a novel. always thought it would come in handy one day), we watch a lot of movies. netflix provides. (wow, that should be their new slogan.) ok, patience, i'm getting there.

so lately, we've seen several good films. an education. one of the 10 films nominated this year and it was a revelation. just a glorious piece of film making. the kind of film where every 10 minutes or so, i say to husband, or he says to me, this is a good movie!! also, a single man. a brilliant film. moving, engaging, emotionally riveting, and important, in a cinematic way. (i mean really, it's a film. it's not important like in a cure cancer kind of way, but i think you take my meaning.) sometimes we love an adventure or fantasy film, like lord of the rings, or a james bond epic, all in good fun, with cgi special effects. good old fashioned escapism, and they don't have to be great. just entertaining, engrossing, and kind of kill 2 hours before dinner. i choose the movies, based on previews we see on the netflix disks, new york times reviews (not gospel, just guidance), and word of mouth, and in general i pick fairly well. husband rarely complains.


lately i'm in a slump. pick-wise.


you know how sometimes, when a movie arrives and you load it, and the previews start, and you're not really in a hurry so you let them play instead of fast forwarding through them or hitting the top menu button to get right to the movie? well, one night that happened and there was a preview of a movie that was from a supposedly terrific book. and i ordered it and it came. it was called the road.


viggo mortensen, who i like a lot since lord of the rings. (the aragorn/stryker character), who's a sexy guy, a good actor and ok in my book, was the star, and academy award winner charlize theron has a small part as well, and we all know how good she is. well, this film is about a post-apocalyptic world, that descends into cannibalism and madness. well, the madness is on me, for watching this boring, stark, depressing, epic with no redeeming features whatsoever. i'm thinking watching paint dry would be more interesting than this movie. watching the cat groom his butthole is more fun than this hopeless piece of crap. i don't mean to be unkind.........just my opinion.

so i lost a few points with husband, but not to worry, my batting average is good.

and then tonight. percy jackson and the olympians: the lightning thief. again, the preview looked pretty good for an adventure, cgi effects thing. you know, the greek gods, monsters, (hey, that reminds me, that was a good movie, gods and monsters, but i digress), minotaurs, hydras, harpies, (no, not the marx brother, the other kind), and i thought we'd have a rollicking good time until dinner, but no. no, no, no. let's just say that percy jackson needed the help of peter jackson to pull this piece of mediocre, sophomoric blather together. it was a teen/hero piece with a few cgi moments, but for 2 hours, i would rather have slept. period. that's it. sleep would have been more entertaining than this piece of teen drivel. (i wonder if the show about the fat people vying to be a loser was on and i missed it for this?) thought....if you set out to be the biggest loser and succeed, does that make you the biggest winner? metaphysically absurd, if you ask me)

but there it is, strike two.

i need a winner, and i mean right away, before i lose my creds.

anybody got any suggestions?...................

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