waiting for godot.........

i know, very existentialist title.

you know, while i'm on that subject, i've actually read that play, more than once. and i've seen it performed, more than once. (we literary types do that sometimes. read/see the classics multiple times), to really grok their meaning, as mr heinlein would have said. (stranger in a strange land for the uninitiated....boy, that's a hard word to spell. i spell checked it so don't get all.....you know....). so true confession here. i haven't a clue what that play is about. ok, i get the symbolism of endless eternity and nothing really important happening for the whole play, except what's in the actual moment, and in the end there's nothing. but i'm 60 years old, for chrissakes, and it has to mean more than that, doesn't it? i mean, 2 hours of rather fun, intellectual dialogue, with a few belly laughs interspersed, but still, at the end of the day, or rather, play..... WTF???? becket must have known what he meant, but quite frankly, he never shared it with me. (i think this play is so tough to get because the original was actually in french, and you know how difficult the french can be to understand. especially when they write existential, absurdist plays.) give me a happy play like who's afraid of virginia wolff, or streecar named desire, anyday. those are way better plays than godot......for me, and at least at the end i have a clue as to what just transpired. tennessee, tennessee, wherefore art thou tennessee.

but i take the name of the play in vain to portray my mental state. ladies and gentlemen, in tonight's performance the role of vladimir (godot, remember?) will be played by yours truly. truthfully, this is an easy one compared to the night a while back when i played all three siblings in my family drama).

i spent the day waiting for the mail. well, actually our mail comes quite early, so i spent the morning until 10:30 waiting for the mail, and lo and behold, no touch thing. i breathed deeply, took it in stride and remembered my plan. no panic until thurs, officially.

to quote the bard, i fretted and strutted (ok, it's a paraphrase, janice, don't sue me.) but i didn't panic. i went online back to the auction site, and stalked the seller. i researched all there was to know about his other sales, his feedback ratings, and they were kind of marginal at best, but not enough to send me over the edge. (understand, if this really is going to be a ripoff, i'm not upset about the $70 bucks. chump change, even for me. i'll be pissed that i still have no touch thing, and the hunt will have to resume, and dammit, the gods have decreed that i ought to have a touch thing.)

so i sent him an email, with nothing but positivity in it.

me: hi jason, did you get the check? it should have arrived by now. if not, for sure in tomorrow's mail. did you send the touch thing? when did you send it? was it regular mail or ups? is there a way to track it? (and then it dawned on me, i sounded as if i didn't trust him, and i didn't want to convey that), so i ended with, i'm so excited i can hardly wait! i figured, even if he's a douche bag thief, he might recant at my excitement.
him: i shipped it postal, should be there by next week. sorry for the delay.


and i immediately began the happy dance. (you know, the same dance the cats do when i, after a night of feasting on chicken wings (not often...remember... i'm fat.....for me......) and i forget to take out the garbage with the chicken wing bones that's on the top of the island in the kitchen? and they find it in the middle of the night, knock it over, splay the bones all over the granite counter and do that kitten happy dance? just before they get completely greasy?) so, i do the happy dance because my jersey city smarts......not that they did me a fuckwad of good yesterday....they tell me that if he truly is a douche bag thief, he wouldn't have sent any message at all. just would have disappeared into the vapors, leaving me on the dock with my dick in my hand. but at this juncture i don't believe that for a minute. the touch thing is coming for sure. as the man said...... sometime next week.............

so as i said....like vladimir and estragon, in that godforsaken play, i'm sitting here waiting........

waiting for the mailman.........

to be continued........